Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The Real Gates Hearings

Clerk: This meeting of the Senate Armed Services Committee will come to order.

Sen. Warner (R-VA, Chair): Thank you. We are here today to discuss the nomination of Mr. Robert Gates to be the next Secretary of Defense. Mr. Gates, I believe you have a statement.

Mr. Gates: Thank you Senator. Let me state my position: I am not Donald Rumsfeld.

Sen. Warner: Thank you, Mr. Gates. Senator Clinton?

Sen. Clinton (D-NY): Mr. Gates. Do I understand that you are not Donald Rumsfeld?

Mr. Gates: That is correct Senator.

Sen. Graham (R-SC): And you are in no way related to Donald Rumsfeld?

Mr. Gates: No relation, Sir.

Sen. Nelsen (D-NE): And you agree with none of Donald Rumsfeld's policies?

Mr. Gates: None, Senator.

Sen. Roberts (R-KS): Let's just get this straight. You have no connection at all with Donald Rumsfeld?

Mr. Gates: None, Senator.

Sen. Kennedy (D-MA): And you have never been in the same room with Donald Rumsfeld?

Mr. Gates: (Pause) Well, Senator, I have, but ...

Sen. Clinton: And we should believe that this doesn't affect your credibility because ...

Mr. Gates: Well, Senator, as you can see here, I have this picture, Exhibit A, showing you, Presidents Bush, Clinton, and Bush, Senator Warner, Senator Kennedy, and several other member of this Committee, all together with Donald Rumsfeld at the last Inauguration.

Sen. Clinton: (Brief pause) I'm good.

Sen. Warner: All in favor?

All: AYE!!!

Sen. Warner: Motion carried. We're adjourned.