Superbowl Commercials

There weren't many that were any good this year. I'll show you my favorite, below, but I found that a lot of people didn't get the reference. So let's go back to September, 1979, when this famous commercial aired, starting Pittsburgh's Mean Joe Green:

And now that we've set the stage, here's my favorite commercial from this year's Superbowl:

And one more reference to TV gone by:

The Christmas Toy

So here I am, Christmas Evening, waiting for BBC America to broadcast the Dr. Who Christmas special and playing with my new toy: a Logitech Harmony 650 Universal remote. I bought the thing at Radio Shack because: a) It was cheap ($69.95), and b) I'm sick and tired of having to manipulate three remotes to change from FIOS to BluRay to USB/Harddisk when watching shows on the bigscreen TV.

The neat thing about the Harmony series of remotes is that you program it on-line. The bad part is that there isn't a native Linux program to do it. There is something called Concordance which is supposed to work, but I'll try that out when I'm prepared to trash the remote if the software fraks out, OK? It's not worth the struggle (forgive me, Saint Richard).

So we boot Hal up in Windows 7 mode, and I'm blogging what's going on using a laptop.

• First: gather up the model numbers of the gadgets to be used. That's fairly easy. I've got a Samsung LCD 46 inch TV, and the model numbers on the side. A Samsung BluRay BD-P360. The hardest part is the FIOS DVR. It's by Motorola, and looking at the pictures on the FIOS site it appears to be a 6416. We'll see.
• Launch IE8 on Hal (NNNNOOOOO!!!!!!!). Go to http:www.logitech.com/myharmony and create an account. Click on My Account. No registration box. Click on the safest looking link, Go to My Stuff There's a login screen and a registration option there. For some idiot reason they want a daytime phone number. Tempted to give them the one for our security, but refrain.
• Click on Product Support. Says it will detect USB corded product. The unit comes with a USB 2 cable, but of course the connector on the remote side isn't standard USB2. Annoying, especially if I loose the cord, but I sort of forfeited the moral outrage option when I booted into Windows. So plug it in, let Windows find the driver software, and click the Detect your devices button. Of course Logitech has an IE add-on that has to be installed. It seems to work. It says I've got something called an N/N: N-10003 Harmony 650 remote. Well, I know the Harmony and 650 part are right.
• It's not particularly obvious what to do next. Click Download Software and get version 7.7.0-WIN-x86 version of LogitechHarmonyRemote, I guess. Install that. You know, I'm kind of glad I'm doing all of this on the Windows side. Installation involves the usual number of clicks to accept the license. Eventually an Icon shows up on my desktop and the thing launches. First thing it wants to know is if it should check for updates. Surprisingly, there are none.
• Log in. You'd think the account I just set up with Harmony would work, but no. So set up another account here. It's another complete registration, folks.
• Now things start. It finds my remote (again). Keep hitting Next until we get to the Add Device page. Adding devices seems straightforward, so long as you have the right device numbers. Fortunately they give you examples of how they want the information entered in.
• Once I finally got the right models in, the software found my devices. The only question I had to ask is if I wanted to turn the cable box off when it wasn't in use. I said yes. We'll see if that's a good idea or not. (I worry what's going to happen when I switch devices. Is the TV going to be out of sync with the cable box?)
• Specify that FIOS uses HDMI1 on the TV, and the BluRay uses HDMI2.
• And somehow we lost the signal, so I HAVE TO LOG IN AGAIN???? And it lost the connection to the remote. But now it has, indeed, started downloading the settings to the remote.
• Looks done. I'm told to disconnect the remote and go try it out.
• Preliminary tests done. It mostly works. There are several glitches, though:
  1. Both the TV remote and the FIOS remote have options for resizing the picture on the screen. It's especially handy when you are watching a standard definition channel, but they're broadcasting something in letterbox format (as in the above-mentioned Dr. Who special). Resize the picture, and it fits the whole screen. Not high-def, but in this case bigger is better. The 650 doesn't have such a button.
  2. The FIOS remote has a standalone DVR button, which bypasses the main menu and takes you to the stuff you use most. The 650 doesn't, you have to go through the main Menu (though the Menu, Info, and Guide buttons work exactly the way they should, as does the Favorites option on the 650's screen).
  3. The worst problem: If I want to stream Netflix using the BluRay, I press a button labeled B on the BluRay remote. One of four buttons, Red/A, Green/B, Yellow/C, Green/D. The 650 has unlabeled Red/Blue/Yellow/Green buttons, but they don't do anything to the BluRay. Since I stream Netflix as much as watch DVDs, if not more, this is a serious difficulty, and a deal-breaker.
• Back to Win-Hal. Click the I need to make some adjustments box. Log in again. At least this time it remembered my password.
• There's a Customize Buttons section for the remotes. For the BluRay, set up Blue to be Netflix, Yellow Pandora, and Green for YouTube. A/Red on the BluRay is Blockbuster, which we don't use. For the FIOS box, set A on the screen (not to be confused with A/Red below) to Aspect, which should set the screen size properly. While we're at it, set B up there to Close Caption, something we use a lot since we're old. Do that for the BluRay as well. I may have to tweak that later. Can't find a DVR button option, but I may have a way around that. Let me test out the new setup and get back to you in a minute.
• OK, those changes work. Nice touch: the buttons attached to the screen are labeled A/B/C..., but you can change those to Aspect/Closed Caption/On Demand, etc.
• Now let's tackle that DVR button problem. On the setup screen for the FIOS remote (labeled PVR in 650's language) there is a button labeled Learn Command. Click that, and go down until you find Learn a New Command. Type DVR Menu in the box and click the Learn a New Command button. Put the front of the FIOS remote to the back of the 650, press the DVR button on the FIOS remote. Wait. Go back to the Additional Buttons setup screen, and assign the button you want the new DVR Menu command.

And, for now, that's enough. If I encounter more difficulties I'll let you know. In particular, we'll see if the family can use it easily or not.

Preliminary bottom line: This isn't all that easy to program, especially if you have an exotic system. But it does seem to be straightforward to program, and you can add special keys as needed. We'll see how it all works in practice.

An Epix Decision

We've had Verizon FIOS for nearly three years and have been pretty happy with it. So last week we finally decided to drop our final link to twentieth-century audio-visual technology, the copper-wire phone line, and rely on the FIOS line and cell phones.

Since this meant we were going to be using FIOS for a while, I decided to call up Verizon and see what kind of a deal they could give me if we locked in for a couple of more years. Primarily, I was looking to save money and add Showtime, so that we could watch Dexter, Weeds, and Nurse Jackie without waiting for the DVDs to get to Netflix. (Yes, these are all shows about, shall we say, socially challenged individuals. Deal with it.)

Well, I didn't save any money — well, I will if we drop HBO, but otherwise not. But such a deal!. In addition to Showtime, we get all of the HD sports channels turned on, the regional Fox sports channels, and some other HD movie channels.

In particular, we now have something called EpixHD. This is a joint venture by Paramount, MGM, and Lionsgate to make a few more dollars off of their movies before Netflix buys about a million DVDs and starts sending them out essentially for free.

So here's the deal. Epix streams movies such as Star Trek, Iron Man, etc., starting about 90 days before Netflix gets streaming rights. In addition, Epix streams to a Linux computer, unlike Netflix.

Furthermore, after a little bit of searching I found that HBO also streams its shows, even to a Linux box, although I had to do the sign-up from Windows.

And, finally, even Showtime is coming around to streaming its shows, although right now it's apparently only available to Comcast customers through something called Fancast.

So here's the dilemma: I can watch movies and shows from HBO, Showtime, and Epix using Verizon's OnDemand service. I can also stream HBO and Epix to my Linux, Mac, or Windows boxes. So do I really need to keep Netflix?

Look, I love the fact that Netflix lets me watch ancient episodes of Dr. Who and things like Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, but I really don't watch it all that much. It's useful that I can get a copy of KU's 1988 NCAA championship DVD when I want it, but, really, how often is that? Is it worth another $10/month?

And, really, I'm upset with Netflix, which won't consider streaming to Linux. They say it's a DRM issue, but if the studios that make up Epix can solve that to their satisfaction, why can't Netflix?

For now, I guess, we'll keep Netflix, but we'll see for how long.

Battlestar Galactica: The Summary

After considering the body of work that is the remade Battlestar Galactica, I offer this summary:

Be kind to your sheet-metal friends,
For that toaster is somebody's mother,
We make them do all our hard jobs,
And program them so they can't sob.
Now you may think that they'll kill us all,

WELL THEY WILL!

Passing it On

The lyrics of Avenues and Alleyways, sung here by Tony Christie, make no sense until you're told that the opening instrumental and the final chorus (where the soul of a man is easy to buy ...) are the music from the opening and closing credits, respectively, of The Protectors, an early 70's British crime-fighting import staring Robert Vaughn and Nyree Dawn Porter. The only thing I really remember about the series was that Nyree Dawn Porter was in every episode.

Kids: Yes, we did really look and act like that. Someplace in your house are pictures of your mum and dad in this kind of clothes. Grab them. They'll come in handy when they threaten to change the will.

I stumbled on this a few days ago, and haven't been able to get the frakking song out of my head. I figure if I can pass it on to even one person, it will leave me alone.

A Year of FIOS

Well, in the language of a current TV show, we've been using FIOS for One year, nine days, and forty-six minutes, so it's time for our first annual performance review:

• It works. Internet, Television, Telephone, all work.

• The system has no trouble with Linux machines. The tech who installed the router had to use a Windows machine to initialize it, but I think that was more of a tech ability issue than an absolute requirement. I can certainly log into the router via the web interface from either of the Linux boxes, as well as the Macs and the windows machines. I think I've noted that the router won't let you listen to streaming RealPlayer output with a program other than RealPlayer, but that's a minor issue and I could probably call tech support to see how to set the router firewall permissions appropriately. Everything else works fine.
• We haven't used the telephone that much, frankly. My wife prefers the sound on the copper-wire line we kept, and since I'm not here that much this year we don't often use the FIOS line. I don't notice any difference in sound quality, but you should know that I just found out that a Sonic Screwdriver makes a sound that I can't hear, but everyone else can.
• TV reception is excellent. There haven't been a lot of the pixellation issues that we had with Comcast digital. The only thing better about Comcast was that they included Starz, Encore, etc., in the standard package. FIOS doesn't, but if you buy the Showtime package, you get all of that as well. (HBO is a separate package, alas.)
• When FIOS switched to an all digital TV signal last summer, they sent me a free convert box that allows me to access all of the TV channels on my second TV. It doesn't have any fancy features, but it accesses all the FIOS channels.
• All in all, the quality of service is slightly ahead of Comcast's. However, that has a lot to do with the quality of the connection between the street and the house, and Comcast was using an old cable. If we ever switch back to Comcast, they will hopefully install a newer, high-speed, connection.

So all in all, a positive experience. Knowing what I know now, would I sign up with FIOS again? Yes, absolutely. Next December our two-year commitment to FIOS ends. Will we keep it? It depends on the package Comcast has to offer.

30 Dec 2008: Things I forgot to add the first time:

• Verizon gives you a measly 10 MB of personal web space, last I looked. I think Comcast gave you about 250 MB. So I had to move my personal web pages to a freebie website provider. Well, it was free except that I had to register my domain with them. Since that only costs $7/year, it's not a problem. But if you have a significant amount of junk content in your current ISP's personal web space, it won't fit into FIOS.
• The DVR box that we rent from FIOS comes with some nifty widgets, allowing you to view weather, traffic, news, and sports results, along with community information, of which we've had none.

31 Dec 2008: Just one more thing: The FIOS tech can initialize your system without Windows. Just look at the last paragraph of this link. Wish I had known that last year. Oh, well, that was a long time ago, in (almost) another administration, and anyway, that Windows installation is dead.

Ranking Science Fiction Characters

A colleague recently introduced me to Google Fight, which let's you stage bouts between your favorite web celebrities based on the number of hits Google gives them.

Well, sort of. For example, if you take the two predominate figures of the longest-running science fiction franchises on US television, Google Fight gives you:

James T Kirk: 296,000 results
Jack O'Neill:      24 results

which is obviously screwy. Going to Google its own self gives you:

James T Kirk: 389,000 results
Jack O'Neill: 573,000 results

which is in some ways even screwier: is the Star Trek franchise so dead that its leading hero gets beat out by MacGyver? (4,870,000 hits, though “Angus MacGyver” gets 29,400)

Anyway, this led me to the task of ranking leading science fiction characters by real Google hits, not Google fight hits. Below are my results, feel free to add to them. The rules are:

1. The Google search string must include the common name of the character, along with a name that distinguishes the work in which the character appears. Thus we'll search for “James Kirk Star Trek“ to distinguish Tiberius from the actor of that name.
2. There are no quotation marks in the search string.
3. Yes, I did search Harry Potter Harry Potter
4. The rank will be the number that appears after the string “Results 1-10 of” on Google, i.e., we'll use the first count Google gives us.
5. If you don't recognize the characters here, don't whine about it, just Google them. The choice of characters says more about me than you anyway.
6. Don't give me any grief about using “Benjamin Sisko” rather than “Ben Sisko” either.
7. If you don't like my definition of Science Fiction, well, frak.
8. No, I don't know why the Kirk searches above and below disagree so strongly. Ask Google.

And the results:

Character	Work	Hits	Comments
Harry Potter	Harry Potter	10,400,000	You expected different?
Luke Skywalker	Star Wars	2,870,000	The Force is strong in this one.
Han Solo	Star Wars	2,370,000	Not bad here, either.
Hermione Granger	Harry Potter	2,150,000	Even Ron likes Harry better than you, Hermione
Albus Dumbledore	Harry Potter	1,260,000	Wonder how many hits are from this fall?
James Kirk	Star Trek	916,000	The Captain Supreme
Death	Discworld	792,000	HOW INTERESTING
Gil Hamilton	Known Space	769,000	A very long arm
Lazarus Long	Future History	730,000	Still read Heinlein, I see
Teal'c	Stargate	539,000	Kree!
Spock	Star Trek	452,000	That I am behind a gold-tattooed alien is not logical.
Daniel Jackson	Stargate	368,000	Needs to Ascend again
Lucas Garner	Known Space	337,000	Old codgers do all right here
Neo	Matrix	335,000	Young twerps, too.
Jean Luc Picard	Star Trek	280,000	Was ahead of Teal'c until the latter stopped shaving is head.
Jack O'Neill	Stargate	257,000	It's a lot worse with only one L.
Trinity	Matrix	257,000	Apparently chicks in leather don't do as well as you'd think
Kathryn Janeway	Star Trek	238,000	Well, better than this, thank God.
R2D2	Star Wars	209,000	The highest-rated robot
Samantha Carter	Stargate	168,000	Should have done nude scenes when they were on Showtime
Adama	Battlestar Galactica	149,000	About half-and-half.
Benjamin Sisko	Star Trek	132,000	Deep in your heart, you know he was the best Captain
Miles Vokosigan	Vokosigan	103,000	Short smart punks apparently don't score as well as tall dumb Colonels.
Rincewind	Discworld	67,700	Wizzards are soon forgotten, especially if they don't get any new book deals.
Samuel Vimes	Discworld	39,900	Cops, too.
The Luggage	Discworld	37,100	But it does iron your shirts.
Granny Weatherwax	Discworld	33,800	Apparently being Good and Right doesn't make you popular, either.
Corwin	Amber	37,800	Obviously in the wrong shadow.
Hari Seldon	Foundation	35,400	Don't worry, his name is all over this one Encyclopedia.
Fafhrd	Lankhmar	15,000	I guess swords aren't all that popular these days.
John Falkenberg	Falkenberg's Legion	10,100	Johnny Christian, we hardly knew ye.
Dominic Flandry	Flandry	9,580	Maybe I'm showing my age.
John Grimes	Rim Worlds	9,200	You think?
Gray Mouser	Lankhmar	8,960	Undoubtedly.
Louis Wu	Ringworld	6,130	Boosterspice, Louis baby, Boosterspice
Kimball Kinnison	Lensmen	1,020	Mentor might not like this.
R. Daniel Olivaw	Robot	1,010	Robots of Doom, indeed.
Nessus	Ringworld	548	Two brainless heads are apparently not better than one.
Tela Brown	Ringworld	73	Heading this list must be unlucky.

And, as I said before, add your contributions below.

I, For One, Welcome Our New Telecom Overlords

I'm filled with wonder, hope, excitement, fear, and dread.

Yes, my children, we're changing our broadband, cable, and ½ of our phone service from Comcast (broadband & cable) and Verizon (phone) to Verizon FIOS.

Specifically, we're getting the Verizon package for all three services, which is supposed to cost $99/month, but actually costs about $135/month when you factor in the DVR, and the movie package (we chose HBO) that they require you get in order to get the installation charges dropped. That's about what we pay now for Comcast's cable and broadband service, and it allows us to drop a copper phone line.

Of course, Comcast has its own “Triple Play” which costs about the same. However, that all goes through the same coax that provides our service now, and which is sometimes inadequate (it was first laid over 20 years ago, what do you expect?). And friends have Verizon's FIOS phone and broadband, which seems to be decent. No one I know has the TV yet, as far as I know. We're pioneers. Hence my dread.

But we get this really neat $200, 19 inch high def TV, which I plan to mount right by my computer, so that I never have to leave this chair — OK, maybe to go to work, but otherwise. (Or we can get a $200 Best Buy gift card, for a down payment on a really big HDTV.)

Anyway, installation is scheduled for Wednesday next week, so I'll let you know how it goes.

Such as today: Last Friday Miss Utility came out and painted orange paint on the snow in our yard, along with flags marking various cables. Today, the line-digging crew came out and installed the fiber from the street to the house.

Along the way they cut the Comcast cable — unfortunate, as we're still using the cable until Wednesday next. They did manage to repair that.

The Verizon-owned copper phone line, however, they shredded.

This does not comfort me.

I'm sure it was unintentional, as we told them that we wanted to keep one of our copper phone lines, because we've had many power problems in the past. True, the FIOS box comes with an 8-hour telephone battery, but there have been times when I'm sure we would have run through that. Hence we want to keep the copper.

Verizon is supposed to come back tomorrow and replace the copper. If the don't cut anything else I'll report later in the week.

Oh, yeah, the deal's for two years. We'll see what kind of offer Comcast has then.

The First Generation (Part II)

Once upon a time I think I mentioned the Trek TV-fanfic Star Trek: New Voyages, which purports to tell us of the last two years of the NCC-1701's five-year mission. Tonight I finally got around to watching the latest episode, “World Enough and Time,” which features a guest appearance by Mr. Sulu himself, George Takei, who plays Sulu thirty years out of time.

Of course, there's another (amateur) actor playing the young Sulu, John Lim. The script has to explain how Sulu can be both 30 and 60 in a one hour episode. It does so reasonably well, much better than in New Voyages' previous attempt, “To Serve All My Days,” which has Walter Koenig as an older Chekov. That script sucked, IMNSHO, not to mention it was non-canon, even within the context of New Voyages.

So how was it? The sets are superb, better than the original series. The special effects make you wonder how we settled for the simple models-on-a-starry-background of TOS. The acting, except for Takei, is definitely amateur.

But Sulu's not the star of the show. That role falls to one Christina Moses, who has all of one other role to her credit, when she must have been about five years old. How can I say it? She can act, folks. It doesn't hurt that she's beautiful, but she can out-act half the cast of ER or Boston Legal. This girl needs to get a good agent, 'cause she's got a career in show business.

You can watch the show online, or download it via BitTorent (except, of course, on Comcast).

Go get it. Watch and enjoy.

Spoilers below, folks...

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Still here? OK, I warned you. The script is a reworking of Tom Godwin's classic “The Cold Equations”. There is no miracle save at the end. If you want a happy ending, don't go here. A hopeful ending? Yes. A happy ending? No.

Those of you who have heard Takei lately will find it ironic that Sulu finally has a female love interest, even though that takes place off-screen. Of course, an actor acts, but it's interesting that Sulu-finally-gets-the-girl happens just as Takei tells us he prefers men. Oh, well, it's not a big deal.

Next up for the series is the introduction of Peter (nephew of) Kirk, from a script by David Gerrold. From the trailer, it looks as though Peter and Sulu have something in common, but I might have misinterpreted.

Next up after that is one Harcourt Fenton Mudd.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Just a little fun, for a change. This is from the Sex Kills episode in Season Two of House, and is Hugh Laurie at his finest:

• Evil Laugh (ogg format, 35070 bytes)
• Evil Laugh (mp3 format, 29117 bytes) [Currently unavailable due to Awardspace.com restrictions on uploading mp3 files — I'll eventually put it up elsewhere. Email if you really want it in this format.]
• Evil Laugh (wav format, 305964)

Recorded using Audacity 1.2.6, from a video tape of the episode. I had to remember to use gnome-volume-control to unmute the line-in input so that audacity could actually hear the tape. I also had to use Audacity's envelop function to increase the volume.

Photograph from IMDB.

Further Proof that God Exists

CBS Axes 'Armed & Famous' After 4 Shows

I Think I'd Try to Get It Pulled From the Shelf

David Lynch (da dum, da Dum) has a book out, Catching the Big Fish: Meditation, Consciousness, and Creativity, in which the author "writes candidly about the tremendous creative benefits he has gained from his thirty-two-year commitment to practicing Transcendental Meditation."

The publisher's blurb tells us that the book also "offers a set of practical ideas that speak to matters of personal fulfillment, increased creativity, and greater harmony with one's surroundings."

I like much of Lynch's work. That said, I'm not a big fan of TM, but if I was, and someone was offering Fire Walk With Me as an example of "greater harmony with one's surroundings," I think I'd sue.

(Thanks to Clive Barker's Science Fiction and Telefantasy Databanks for the link to Twin Peaks.)

What's Wrong With You People?

According to news reports, over 250 million Americans failed to watch the Friends finale. What's up with that? Who wouldn't want to know what happened to whosit, whatchamacallit, him, her, thatone, and whatshername? This is a national outrage! NBC put down good money so that everyone in the known universe would watch the final episode of Friends. Get with the program, people, you only have one more chance to see it-- then it's going straight to syndication, and you won't be able to see Friends more than 10-20 times a day.

9:21 p.m. EDT

That's when this year's NCAA Division I National Championship Game began. Why? I can think of three reasons:

• CBS didn't want to shut out the west coast fans. This way the game starts at 6:21 PDT, or 6:21 MST for Arizona. Of course, the last team from the west that went to the final for was Arizona -- in 2001.
• CBS really wanted you to watch the Peter Jennings special on ABC about Jesus and Paul.
• CBS wanted to plug two lousy sitcoms in the 8-9 hour.

("I'm going to take door number 3, Monty.")

Let's see. What would happen if Major League Baseball started a World Series Game at 9:21? Media explosion. "You're keeping the game away from the young fans.!!!" But the NCAA gets a free ride on this. Why?

Sisko: Short Hair, or Bald?

It's up to you to decide. Star Trek Deep Space 9 begins its (re)run on Spike TV starting April 5^th. If they play them in sequence, Bald Ben won't show up for a few months.