Thursday, October 13, 2005

For the Hunter Who Has Everything

I heard about this on the radio as I was driving home today: The Buck Bomb –– It's aerosolized deer urine. Available in "five different scents: Doe Estrus, Dominant Buck, Young Buck, Doe P and Vanilla Curiosity Scent."

I don't hunt, but I've got nothing against hunters. I have friends, relatives, and neighbors who hunt. And I know the deer urine masks the human scent and makes the buck think that he's approaching the deer equivalent of Hooters. But Vanilla Curiosity? Did Daniel Boone use "Doe P?" Did Davy Crockett resort to "Doe Estrus?" (Eeew.) I think not.

In fact, I think I know why the stuff actually works:

Deer #1: What's that?

Deer #2: What?

#1: That smell.

#2: (sniffs) Hmm. Smells like Vanilla Curiosity.

#1: (Laughs) Vanilla Curiosity!!? That stuff? They think that's going to work?

#2: (Laughs harder) Check this next guy out. It, it, (more laughter) it's Doe Estrus!!

#1: (Doubles over with laughter) Ohmygod, you're right. Doe Estrus!! (Collapses completely.)


Hunter: Yup, I guess this stuff really works. He just waited for me to come up and shoot him.