Planning for the End

I've made a decision. Some time, in the next 50-100 years, I'm probably going to shuffle off of this mortal coil. I've decided I want to go in one of two ways:

1. Like my Aunt, who sat down to read the morning paper and didn't get up for breakfast, or
2. Like Art Buchwald.

Of course, he may not be going for a while. This story was written in March, and he's still writing.