The Back of the Ticket

From the back of the Washington Nationals Baseball ticket for May 15, 2009. Footnotes added.

By the use of this ticket, the ticket holder agrees that: (a) he or she shall not transmit or aid in transmitting any information about the game or related activities to which it grants admission,^a including, but not limited to,^b any account,^c description, picture,^d video,^e audio,^f reproduction^g or other information concerning the game or related activities^h (the Game Information); (b) the Club issuing the ticket is the exclusive owner of all copyrights and other proprietary rights in the game, related activities,ⁱ and Game Information; and (c) the participating Clubs, Major League Baseball Properties, Inc., Major League Baseball Enterprises, Inc., MLB Advanced Media, L.P. and each of their respective affiliates, licensees and agents shall have the perpetual^j and unrestricted right and license to use his or her name,^k image, likeness^l and/or voice^m in any broadcast, telecast, photograph, video and/or sound recordingⁿ taken in connection with the game for all purposes and in all media^o known and unknown^p throughout the universe.^q Breach of any of the above will automatically terminate this license and may result in further legal action.^r

^aSo if you sneak into the game, you can do any of these things?

^bDon't worry, we'll think of other things later

^cWhich is why I can't actually tell you about the game

^dNo snapping pictures with your cell phone

^eRemember Sonny ripping the film from the camera? Applies here, too.

^fThe cell phone conversation, where you called your wife to tell her the game was going into extra innings? Verboten

^gEven with sock puppets

^hSuch as the young woman bouncing up and down three rows in front of you

ⁱThis includes all bubble gum, sunflower seed shells, and tobacco wads spit out by players during the game

^jOne of the five people you meet in heaven will be an MLB Lawyer. Oh wait, if there's a lawyer there …

^krcjhawk will now forever be associated with the Washington National Baseball Club

^lWell, I don't suppose they'll be using my likeness, but that woman three rows down …

^mI have been told that I have a voice made for blogging.

ⁿWait! We left out Leroy Neiman pantings!!!

^oWhew. For a moment I'd thought we'd left a loophole.

^pJust in case sending pictures via DNA encoding ever becomes popular

^qAt least on Arcturus they don't complain about us calling our championship the World Series

^rA century from now, if we find you put a picture of this game in a scrapbook, we'll exhume your body, drag it to the site of the Spanking-Brand-New Washington Nationals of Boise Park, and cast it out through the front gate. Then we'll sue your heirs.

The World's Best Visual Illusions

Well, I'm not sure they're the best, but here are some really neat visual illusions, including why a curve ball appears to make a sudden break as it reaches the plate, when we know it's really making a smooth curve.

Preserving My Web History

Back at the dawn of the Internet I had a GeoCities Web Page. For its time, it was marvelous. All you had to do to keep up with the terms of service was to make sure each page had a link to the GeoCities home page, and upload files through a somewhat clunky web interface.

I haven't touched the thing since about 1997, but it's still up on the web.

Not for long, unfortunately. Yahoo, which bought the place in 1999, is boarding up the site sometime this fall.

So, for posterity, I've downloaded my contribution to early web culture and uploaded it to my current free web site. That I was able to do this tells you something about why GeoCities is about to go the way of Thylacinus cynocephalus: AwardSpace gives me free web space so long as I register my domain with them, with minimal restrictions, and I can manage it with standard ftp. All I have to do is remember to keep my domain registration active.

Looking back on the thing, the only part that might still be relevant are my book reviews, most of which I did as a paid-for-connect-time science advisor for GEnie. They aren't particularly dated, but I obviously needed an editor to go over them. I've also mis-remembered some of the reviews. For example, I was certain that my review of The Curse of the Bambino started with the line Red Sox fans whine a lot, but that turns out not to be the case. (And, the curse having been obliterated, this is the most dated of the reviews.)

Anyway, it's a new home for old web pages, at least until AwardSpace disappears, hopefully in the far, far future.

The Science Hodgepodge Archival Edition