Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Riot-Causing Baseball Freed

WASHINGTON -- In a stunning move, the baseball which was implicated in the riot during the last regular season baseball game in Washington will be granted a one-night pass to attend the Washington Nationals Home Opener, and will meet President George W. Bush before the game.

The ball, which has been confined to an envelope in pitcher Joe Grzenda's desk for 33 years, was last seen in public before Grzenda began to pitch what could have been the last out in the Washington Senators' final home game on September 30, 1971. Before Grzenda could pitch, fans poured out of the stands and covered the field, forcing the Senators to forfeit the game to the New York Yankees, even though the Senators were leading 7-5.

The baseball was held responsible, since it clearly could have allowed fewer runs, causing the game to run more quickly and ending before the fans had finished all the beer in the stadium. The ball was tried and sentenced by Grzenda, who says that it will be required to complete its sentence after the game.

By tradition, Presidents throw out the first baseball on opening day in Washington. It is believed that Bush will throw the riot ball, since it is the only thing remaining in the city associated with the Senators. However, Secret Service officals would not say whether the ball had passed through usual security checks. "It's not like [the ball has] been able to contact any terrorist organizations," said one high administration source.

It is possible that Bush will pardon the ball, or commute its sentence to lifetime public service in Cooperstown, NY, said the offical. "We'll just have to see how it plays in the press." A complication would be that the ball would be remanded to New York, home of Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, the aide noted.

1 comments:

Abby Taylor said...

heh heh

love it