From the back of the Washington Nationals Baseball ticket for May 15, 2009. Footnotes added.
By the use of this ticket, the ticket holder agrees that: (a) he or
she shall not transmit or aid in transmitting any information about
the game or related activities to which it grants
admission,a including, but not limited
reproductiong or other information
concerning the game or related
Information); (b) the Club issuing the ticket is the exclusive
owner of all copyrights and other proprietary rights in the game,
related activities,i and Game
Information; and (c) the participating Clubs, Major League Baseball
Properties, Inc., Major League Baseball Enterprises, Inc., MLB
Advanced Media, L.P. and each of their respective affiliates,
licensees and agents shall have the
perpetualj and unrestricted right and
license to use his or her name,k image,
voicem in any broadcast, telecast,
photograph, video and/or sound
recordingn taken in connection with the
game for all purposes and in all mediao
known and unknownp throughout the
universe.q Breach of any of the above
will automatically terminate this license and may result in further
aSo if you sneak into the game, you can do any of these things?
bDon't worry, we'll think of other things later
cWhich is why I can't actually tell you about the game
dNo snapping pictures with your cell phone
eRemember Sonny ripping the film from the camera? Applies here, too.
fThe cell phone conversation, where you called your wife to tell her the game was going into extra innings? Verboten
gEven with sock puppets
hSuch as the young woman bouncing up and down three rows in front of you
iThis includes all bubble gum, sunflower seed shells, and tobacco wads spit out by players during the game
jOne of the five people you meet in heaven will be an MLB Lawyer. Oh wait, if there's a lawyer there …
krcjhawk will now forever be associated with the Washington National Baseball Club
lWell, I don't suppose they'll be using my likeness, but that woman three rows down …
mI have been told that I have a voice made for blogging.
nWait! We left out Leroy Neiman pantings!!!
oWhew. For a moment I'd thought we'd left a loophole.
pJust in case sending pictures via DNA encoding ever becomes popular
qAt least on Arcturus they don't complain about
us calling our championship the
rA century from now, if we find you put a picture of this game in a scrapbook, we'll exhume your body, drag it to the site of the Spanking-Brand-New Washington Nationals of Boise Park, and cast it out through the front gate. Then we'll sue your heirs.